Posted by: Lisa Gawlas | April 25, 2012

Riding the Intense RollerCoaster of Change!


Today, my adventure in Virginia comes to an end.  I will be heading back to New Mexico later today.  This has been the biggest, most intense emotional roller coaster of my recent life!  After I got the elephant off of my heart yesterday, it is amazing how much beauty and perfection you can see in all that has transpired.  All of life is always, constantly conspiring to bring us each to our greatest expression possible.  Most especially when it appears that in an instant, everything has turned to shit!

As most of you know, I am in Virginia to support my 29 year old son as he embarks on a court battle for custody of his 2 year old son.  One can initially say, as I did, court went as bad as it could have gone for him.  He lost all custody for 6 months and must travel from Virginia to Massachusetts (a 14 hour car ride one way) to see his son at all and must be completely supervised at every moment.  He completely caused this outcome himself and takes full responsibility for it.  Self sabotage has been an ongoing theme in his life and now, in these most intense times on earth, he must face and change this aspect of himself.  How many of us are equally dealing with this scenario as well?  It is clearly obvious that I Am too!

These days are not asking us to be the very best Self that we have been created to be, it is down right demanding it.  At least for those who have a big role in these times.  Of course, not everyone is going thru such intense Self scrutiny, those folks simply came in to be supporting actors on this stage of life.  It is those who has allowed themselves the full responsibility within that much responsibility to the greater All is being demanded.  My son does not play the blame game, has not in a very long time.

I have watched as the collective universe stripped my son bare when he found out he was going to be a father.  Every negative, fear-filled emotion that laid dormant at the bottom of his barrel spewed up and out of him during the first 3 months of pregnancy.  It was hell for all involved, but a much-needed hell he had to go thru and we loved him enough to hug him thru it, when he let us hug him!

And then something switched.  After releasing every toxic fear within himself, the love of a son soon to be, started to replace the toxins.  He started to change for the positive in every conceivable way.  I watched as the strength and perseverance of his will, his divine will, came flowing out into his life.  A transformation I feel absolutely blessed to have witnessed (and continue to witness) along the way.  For the last two years he changed and enhanced every aspect of his life.  Not always willingly, but he made sure (prior to birth) there was a damn good catalyst/antagonist in his life to ensure his continued inner growth.  That is the baby’s mama.

There is no greater growth than looking at the mirror of all the things you no longer want to be and his baby’s mama holds that mirror steady even today.  Think of the beauty and not to mention the inner torment that precious soul bears.  To come into life to say, I will not grow or evolve so that you can.  I will hold the mirror of all the negative aspects up to your face for as long as it is needed to assure your full growth in this life.  That is the ultimate sacrifice of Love!

I have asked my son many times over the last 3 years, how could you attract into your life a clone of my own mother?  Well, today I see it so clearly and bless it more than I ever have before.

After court and what appeared to be devastating news to my son, his attorney advised me to make arrangements immediately to move back into the home with my son and daughter, in preparation for the next and final court hearing in October.  Huh?  Hey, why does my life have to return to hell because of unwise choices in his personal life?  Dammit!!  Of course I said I would.  Until I woke up the next morning.

I could not sleep that night thinking of leaving my beloved Mesa, the guardians, my landlady… My life, my soul, is truly in heaven there.  Of course, doing 3 days of readings here showed me that I can easily bring the fullness of energy that is the Mesa, here to VA.  But living in Virginia again… blah!  I started to realize as I woke up from a 3 hour nights sleep, it wasn’t returning to Virginia that was eating at me, it was the feeling of being last in my sons life, complete abandonment that transpired (and even continued to as I am here) during the last year.  The unresolved feelings laying at the bottom of my barrel were hanging out now at the corners of my eyes.  I had to go talk to him.  God, I love my son so much!! We talked, he listened and did not blame at all or even get reactive.  He understood and shared what was going thru him at the time(s) and I understood.  The water cleared.  I went and took a much needed nap.

There is something precious about sleep… when I woke up, I was equally clear.  I would do whatever it takes to help him thru this time.  I started to reflect on my own journey to this very moment in time.  So many times one could say my own actions in my life should have created a complete abandonment of the only parents I have ever known… spirit, but they always stood by my side thru really non-life enhancing choices to the greatest of choices.  Spirit stood on the sideline when needed and got really interactive when needed.  I realized I could make no other choice but to come back to Virginia and travel this road with my son and my grandson.  I obviously have a lot to learn about myself thru this major transition in my sons life.  He has always been my greatest teacher and we are in for one hellofa lesson these next 6 months.

When something appears to not go your way in life, we have a choice to be reactive or reflective, which of course builds an incredibly karmic chest of energy for this next phase of our life’s journey.  The moment he came out of the courtroom, he became very reflective and has remained in that state with a calm, centered, self-reflective focus.

His personal choice to put something into bis body system to help him not feel the pain of what is transpiring created the greatest pain he has ever known.  It was so clear that the universe itself said Chris you have leaped high buildings, traveled treacherous roads to get to here… there is one last thing to do and we are forcing your hand!   He came home and talked about why these last, lingering choices are still there.  The pain deep inside that it can and does mask over.  You can not possibly be the highest vibration you were created to be if you are constantly squishing your vibration down with things… things even as simple and legal as alcohol, casual sex (these were my personal choices/uses to hide my pain)  and anything designed for “avoidance” stunts your vibratory growth.

I do want to say as well, DO NOT devalue the entirety of all the changes you have gone thru because there was one last thing that popped up in your face to deal with.  Quite the opposite, take the time to celebrate the challenge, the intense vibrational change this (whatever this is) will create not only in your life, but in all life everywhere.  I am so madly in-love with my son and the proudest mother on earth!!

I cannot tell you how grateful I am for this sudden and unexpected turn of events in our lives.  Change is always for the better.  Like I keep telling him, we don’t have to like the change upon us, but there is a greater story unfolding.  We are going to create the sugar to go into the lemon juice currently puckering for full exposure within our life… together!!  Ahhh the power of the Alchemist!

As I fell asleep last evening, I thought very much about synergy. I thought about how incredibly powerful it is when it is in full use.  I got a small glimpse when my landlady came to take notes for her sisters Hands of Light massage/reading session.  My own energy field soared simply by her presence and collapsed when she left the house.   My son is my energetic equal and lives life with a passion and purpose just like I do.

Together, we will climb this mountain and release whatever is left in our family barrel that keeps us sabotaging our greatest expression in life.  My magnetic theme has been family for the last two weeks, to make any other choice during these intense karmic enhancing (or depleting) times would not only sabotage myself and my blood family, but my entire family of Light.

I so look forward to arriving back in New Mexico this evening and working towards the next adventure of life for all of us!!

Thank you so much for your love, support and strength, you fill my life and my heart…All-Ways!

((((HUGZ)))))

Lisa Gawlas   www.mysoulcenter.com/energy_readings.html

P.S. Reading Special Thru April 30th.  Every new purchase of a 30 or 60 minute reading (does not matter when the reading actually happens) will receive a Brazilian Quartz Crystal that has been fully charged both by the field here at the Mesa as well as Fully charged with the Solar Eclipse Energy and will be mailed out on May 21st.  I will be taking all these crystals to the top of the Mesa Cliff during the full Solar Eclipse phase that runs straight across our land.  This is a divine counterpart (so to speak…smile) to the Arkansas crystals I had given out over the last year!!  I will get this special posted on my website as soon as I have time.


Responses

  1. Lisa,
    I feel sad for you and your son, but I am not feeling sorry for you, just sorry that things flipped topsy-turvy, and it’s kind of been that way all around for a lot of folks the past week, it seems. I know that all is as it should be, but I feel sad that the experience of the backyard mesa will not be part of your daily experience after so short a time enjoying it. What will become of Jorge?

    Like

    • Hi Cheryl,

      I think you have connected to my sons heart center. The pure sad emotion was rolling out of every pore all day and night yesterday. I mean sad like I have never felt before. That, in and of itself, is a really good thing. Remorse for personal choices, reflecting on how far and wide this one choice has affected life…. really incredible. Just seeing how events unfolded on that day of court, there is the signature of spirit all over it. It has deepened my sons own look at himself more than any other out come could have. When my son looks that deep, he changes!! THAT is divinity in motion!

      I too have gone thru the mourning of the Mesa, but what I so equally love about this universe… as I took my bath this morning, one of the Guardians showed up, as they did way back in September, in the very same bathtub… what was needed to be done, for now, has been done. They live within us now and will find expression where ever WE are.

      Ohhh and I have been pondering Jorge all day today. I suppose we will get the rest of that story as the journey on the Mesa continues and finds completion… how ever that unfolds!! The one thing I feel for certain, this story is far from over!!

      I love you Cheryl and thank you so much for loving us back!
      (((HUGZ)))
      Lisa

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  2. Lisa
    My heart sank when I read the blog this morning as I was so hopeful for a more favorable outcome at this time. But by you sharing, it really helps folks to think about being more reflective and not so reactive when things are not working for you in the present moment. So by you and your son’s experience you are helping all.

    This has been a very wierd week. At my place of employement one of my fellow co-workers was killed in an auto accident.

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    • Hi Sheila (((HUGZ))))

      I meant to mention this in my blog, spirit had a different direction and feel for it tho. The prayers, the Light, The Love of truth that was gathered, indeed spread to every crevice of that courtroom. The judge saw thru the mother, seen equally that my son is a really good dad, but as the judge made sure to point out “when your not high” and allowed tremendous time for the next and final hearing so lives can go in the direction needed for the greatest good of my grandson. It really was an exceptional day of truth and clarity by the Judge. I am beyond grateful.

      I am really sorry to hear about your co-worker. My son just went by two of his employee’s homes to pick them up and one was placed in jail last evening the other just MIA. The universe put oxy clean in everyone’s lives!!

      Thank you so much for your kind words, it is really hard for me to write about someone else without assured privacy, but too big a lesson not to share. I am so grateful it has helped in some small way!
      With so much love and apprecation wrapped in ((((HUGZ))))
      Lisa

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  3. Lisa,
    As a non parent it’s hard for me to feel what many others feel, but I felt the despair picturing the cage he’s been forced to accept. I send my blessings and anchor my highest intent for your son and for you to grow like weeds from this experience. It sounds as though I might adding a little miracle grow as you both “get it” already.

    And then an idea came to mind reading this and the comments already here. At all times there is a flow to the point which as some of us find our valleys, in equal numbers or perhaps geometric ones, some of us find ourselves atop the mountains looking down. All last weekend I was fortunate to have that experience learning so much about what and who I am from on high. And watching a movie that I would have never ever in a million years watched, and it turned out being the blown out candles on a birthday cake.

    Its the movie, “the cabin in the woods.” I won’t have to say much around this energy space, just watch it when it comes out and see if you hear and feel what I felt and heard. I walked out of that theater like a little child who just found their first candy store. Unbelievable…its not a scary movie by the way. That’s what I mean, I haven’t subjected my psyche to those energies in years but the energies aligned in such a way that I leaped at the opportunity and am very grateful for the experience. This movie details the control structures in place…

    And then, yet…I find another valley 🙂

    One Love Adonai,
    Kai

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    • Hi Kai (((HUGZ)))

      We are always open to Miracle Grow, but please, no weeds, we are blooming Shambhala Flowers. (big smile)

      Life is always a wonderful series of valleys and mountains… the trick is not to keep falling back down into the same valley!! I do believe we have reached this very moment in time as very experienced and proficient mountain climbers! Phew…

      I have heard of the cabin in the woods, sounded like another one of those chop ’em up movies… glad you clarified, and I look forward to seeing it when it comes out on DVD.

      Well, gotta get ready for my flight home… (((HUGZ))) of love rolling up and down the mountain!
      Lisa

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  4. […] link to original article Share this:MorePrintShare on TumblrEmailDigg Pin ItLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]

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  5. Hi Lisa,

    Yours is a real story of Ascension in action. Very inspiring!

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  6. I was thinking that your mission on the Mesa has been accomplished now – the Portal is opened, and now you are needed by your (genetic) family. Your “other family” (us) will keep the Portal open. I do believe that the rest of this year will bring miracles of abundance our way, and you will be able to fly back and forth without having to worry about the cost. That’s My Timeline, and I’m sticking to it! LOL

    Luv2U

    Edie

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  7. I am NOT a mother and never will be; therefore, my initial response to reading today’s blog was say it ain’t so. You had such a strong connection to the land and the guardians. I remember how you found the land, and how everything fell into place, so you could move in. I remember your landlady taking a chance on you. I remember the crystals rejoicing and asking to be placed outside in the earth there. I remember Angel Michael coming to you, and telling you that you did NOT have to move back to VA. I remember you having breast cancer when you were in Virginia before. I also remember your blog explaining how you got the breast cancer.
    There are 7 billion people on the planet, and we all have to walk our own paths. Our parents love us, but we still have to walk the path ourselves. I am curious about the lawyer. Your son is not a minor; therefore, why does he think you moving to VA will affect the outcome? Your son has taken responsibility for his decisions concerning his parenting choices and his life, so why the move to VA? You and I both understand that we can’t go from cradle to grave without going through well growing pains. Through the grace of God your son will live well into his 90’s. There will be many more crises over the next seventy years of his life. Are you going to up end and change your life completely everytime he has a crises over the next 20,30,40 ..etc years? What does that teach him about creating a crises and being a man???
    I have probably way overstepped by bounds with this post, but I felt the need to send up a red flag. Who knows, this maybe an opportunity for growth for both of you, but maybe not in the same state. I also remember when you ended up living in a hotel in VA away from your son. I just hope that a mothers love is NOT blinding you from reality, but maybe that is what a mothers love does. I will end this post how I started it. I am NOT a mother.

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    • Hi Michelle (((HUGZ)))

      You don’t have to be a mother to truly be in service to life, especially the life I created and one that was created thru what I created. I have long stopped patterning my life and choices off of human example… that is the very thing that brought us into massive chaos.

      Step back and look at two of the greatest role models beyond the human. Earth and our Spirit Guides. She is the most exquisite example of a mothers love. She never turns her heart away from you, but does withhold (i.e. droughts) or even enhances (i.e. floods, tornadoes, etc) aspects to allow growth and understanding thru the process of living.

      Not once does she say, do it without me. Ever.

      Here is the thing with life and right action/right flow. It is always supported by the universe. When I moved back to VA last year, every step of the way was supported. When I moved into the oceanfront hotel, it was supported by the universe, when I choose to move back here to New Mexico, it was supported by the universe. My life, my whole expression has never been about becoming stationary… I do what is needed and set out on what is needed next. My movements are always prompted by a “feeling” and it is present from the moment I wake up and flows out of me thru the day. That is what is called living in the flow of life…

      I never had breast cancer, I had a fluid filled cyst. Ohhh emotions… ya know!

      I would absolutely change my life in a heartbeat every year if the internal flow directs me. I pretty much have lived that way for the last 12 years. Knowing when to be present and when to step back is always key. I stepped back last year, hence my return to New Mexico. It was indeed time to withdraw my energies to allow his life to take the course needed. But there is also a time for rain… for the sweet loving emotions of the mother to help grow the new garden of life.

      What does this teach him? That he always has someone to love him and support him and nurture him thru the most difficult times of his life, whether he (or any of my children) is 29 or 99… and that I love him enough to stand back as he makes his choices.

      I pray that being the living example of love, he too will be there each and every time his child(ren) need him the most and learn to stand back when needed too.

      Staying here on the Mesa would souly be for myself (small s there)… that too, comes with its own karmic chest (not one I want to really put my face into.)

      When spirit said I can have both New Mexico and VA, I have a great feeling I can and will. I will go spend as much time as needed with my family, learning, growing, expanding… and no doubt, New Mexico will still be here and open its loving heart back up to me… I would bet, even my landlady has a vacancy by then!

      We always have two choices in which to see and experience life… the flow of constant change and growth… or hanging onto what we thought/expected it to be like.

      I love ya girl (((HUGZ))))
      Lisa

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