I spent this long holiday weekend pouting. Actually, down right stopping my feet, letting the universe know how pissed off I am with them (gotta love the human side of our Beings..lol).
I had wanted to go to the Sedona Light Conference so much. Everything was coming together effortlessly for it. Until it all fell a part. It’s like the winds that were blowing me there… all of a sudden stopped and changed direction on a dime. EVERYTHING stopped flowing!
Ohhh I can be stubborn and push my way thru my own wants and desires… but I have traveled this crazy path long enough to know, I didn’t want the lessons (loving reminders lol) from the universe to pay attention to the signs of my own life.
What you and I don’t see at all… is what is happening behind the scenes. It is in that blind spot, we can tend to force our own agendas. When a door closes, as mine did with going to Sedona, we can place our feet on the wall and do all we can to pry it back open. Trust me, the universe who loves and guides you, will eventually let it open back up for you… but also, with reminders of why it closed in the first place.
Memorial Day weekend… I all of the energy that fuels my life was withheld. Not one client since Thursday (today is Tuesday), no money in my bank accounts, not much to do but pout, because I was plopped straight into the void. That is to say, that place where spirit disconnects for a moment (my moment lasted 3 days) to allow you to make new choices, come to new understandings without all the “spiritual connections” that make life changing choices easy. These moments MUST come from the pureness of your heart (or head, depending on what leads you.)
I have never made these choices with grace. I stomp my feet, yell in colorful language at the universe for blocking my path (which they never ever ever do… but it is easier to blame than look to see where else you may be heading.)
All of these things were made worse (really better) by a 7am phone call from my son that lasted 5 hours! He just needed to talk… and all I could say over and over again is I wish I wasn’t 3 days away. Funny, I have said that since I landed in New Mexico from Virginia a year ago. But until this phone call (why this one and not the 100 other that preceded this one) I never really listened to mySelf. He even said I need to move back to Virginia. Doing my best to ignore the huge truth in his statement, I said I hate Virginia and will not move back. But did I? Really?? Really really??????
When we (finally… smile) hung up the phone and I went to recharge my now drained battery… I heard so loud and clear in my heart “why wouldn’t you move back to Virginia?” Huh????
And then I was reminded from a line in a movie I just watched “I Am Number Four” (I so loved this movie) and the boy was talking to a girl who wanted to leave her hometown because she seen nothing worthwhile there… and he, having moved around many many times said to here ‘A place is only as special as the people in it.”
I heard that line, felt the reminded emotion of when he said it (of course I thought about my kids and grandson while watching the movie) and said… shit (smile)… it’s time.
Then, the universe gave me a visual I couldn’t argue with… as I was thinking about, am I really done here in New Mexico??
I seen myself in the middle of a vast ocean. I had swam out to deep and far that all that surrounded me was water (the emotions of my life). I realized, that embarking on my journey to New Mexico was akin to leaving the shores of my life for the most wonderful, refreshing swim out to sea (to the depths of my heartSelf). It was only when I stopped swimming (ummm.. this weekend) and looked around, did I know with certain clarity, it is time to go back to the shores of my life. Where my son, my daughter-in-love and my grandson have always been, wishing me well in my search for mySelf, and knowing, somewhere deep inside of them… one day, I would realize I never really left… just went for an amazing swim!
June is the parting of the Red Sea.
Red is all about the physical aspect of life….being the color of the root chakra and all. Duality. I understand this visual and meaning more today than ever. I am surrounded, if not supported by two walls of water… my physical life and my spiritual life. The narrow path between the parting of this (now) intensely clear emotional space… leads me back to where I have always thrived, where my growth and heart is the strongest… with my family.
Funny… for the last week and a half, my doors here on the Mesa have been blowing open… at first, when I was not in the same room and I would have to come back and shut it. Often I would simply blame it on the high winds here on the Mesa… but I know a message was trying to get out, and I sure didn’t want to see it, so I didn’t… until it happened today, as I type this blog, without even so much as a breeze.
Doors fly open when we are on the right path, and know that path can change even in mid stride to one you were walking. The doors were flying open when I was not present, because I was busy trying to force my own agenda (going to Sedona)… doors I was not yet looking at, were already swinging open for me.
Today…. I get it. The signs are all around us… all-ways… if we are tuned to inner listening!!
I should be back in Virginia by July 25th… and my soul is singing a song (and I get to hug my grandson again!! Hurray!!
Thank you to the New Mexican Whiptail Lizard for visiting me yesterday (actually trying to get inside my home) and reassuring me…. its time for change…. again!!
I would so love to hear what the Solar Winds of Change (May) brought into your life and awareness. Please share them here…
(((((HUGZ))))) of super sized joy and a song in my heart!
Lisa
The Shift of Time and Energy! 
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