Man oh man if March is becoming the wildest ride for so many of us, in rather unexpected ways. And not in the pleasant up lifting ways. Change is like a bull in a china shop and indeed there is a bull let loose in many lives, especially where the emerging energy is so delicate.
I had a skype session with my daughter last evening, I seen on facebook one of her friends unexpectedly died yesterday, just days after being released from jail (for a DUI.) I looked thru everyone’s post to see the cause so I can tell Valorie, minutes before our session I found out it was a heroin overdose. Valorie already knew all the details, which I found amazing!! Valorie said this girl was not into drugs, it was a new choice she made, a fatal one. I explained to Valorie that we only get so many chances to change into who we were always meant to be here, we eventually run out of chances. In my own way, having her assure me she is done with her own drug use and jail.
She had also told me of another lady who was in jail with her that has cancer and was undergoing chemo treatments. Just the other day this lady was visibly sick and could not walk by herself and the guards refused to allow any inmate to help this lady walk to her cell, being threatened with sexual assault charges. Many hours later, the lady was finally taken to the hospital and died 2 days later.
For those of you not on my facebook, the board here (not the attorney) has blocked my equity loan. They did not tell me that, nor my loan guy, they told my realtor who told me. Even tho, the property manager told me flat-out that the board has nothing to do with any of it…
The new age community lives this bizarre lie that I think gives them comfort when nothing else seems to. “Everything is working out like it’s supposed to.” That is such a crock of shit!! lol It would be like our lives are on a train track and everything is unavoidable and deliberate. Why bother living life… especially so many of them?
In truth, people intersect to push each other into the highest versions of themselves. Not by a script that is playing out out of our control, but because change is underway and we come to major choice points in our lives.
Val’s friend, tasting freedom after being incarcerated, could have chosen to value her life. She chose the opposite. The guards at the jail had the opportunity to invoke compassion and assistance, they choose the opposite, again. There have been 4 deaths in that jail this week alone.
This community, having nothing to fear since my house is officially on the market, choose fear instead.
People and events move into lives to allow new choices, and when the choice goes to the lowest frequency possible, we tend sugar coat it. Why? Again, I come back to the actual fear of our intense base emotions and we will never really see the path changing before us. Therefore, we leave nothing to change for the greater all. How do we ever take an energetic stand if everything is exactly like it supposed to be. Why even bother doing anything if we are just on a train track we cannot get off of and the manifesting ability of a new direction will not take hold if hidden beneath the waters of DeNile.
Even with the best laid plans, like getting my home equity loan, getting my new teeth, paying it all off with the sale of the house, whenever that is… was my divine plan. My loan guy was brought to me by my team, funding what even my realtor said is an unfundable deal (just on the equity of the trailer) but he seen beyond that, into the needs of my desires. Then, someone rips that right out of my path, not because of divinity, but truly because of their own fear, their own lack of compassion. Was it meant to go that way, no. But that is the way it’s going now, so I bob and weave with this major bump in my road. Do I have to like it?? Hell no. But I do have to adjust my plans because of it. And I have. Thank god for compassionate, understanding dentists, unlike my first dentist her, whom I will be taking to small claims court. Of course, I could take a back seat (which I never do) and say, ohh it was meant to be that he charged me for something that really was not needed had he looked at my whole mouth, chalking it all up to “meant to be that way.” NOT!! Granted, I didn’t listen to my guy before I even agreed to the first appointment.
And I look at my daughter and the environment she is in. She thrives because of those of you who have reached into her heart and guided her to a better her. I so wish everyone on that planet had YOU in their lives. My daughter does what she can to help others in the jail she is in, often to her own detriment, she has been locked down because she made a call to someone’s family, she has been threatened to be put in solitary for helping the lady who fell (the one with cancer.) She is really taking a long view of compassion vs cruelty. Without our hand, she could easily fall to the hardness this place called jail instills.
So, all that to say… not everything that is taking place, personally or collectively, “is meant to be.” Our paths are in such a radical state of change, that is contingent on others sometimes, often times. Be ready to change direction, focus on a moment’s notice!! This equinox energy is massive, I mean MASSIVE like no other equinox before it. It is a life changer. It is giving people opportunities to choose a higher road, often thru your presence in their road. When they choose a lower road, that doesn’t mean you stick around to wait it out. It means there is now a sudden change in your own road, reassess and get new inner direction for movement and life fulfillment!!
The one thing I do have to say, in a positive frame for my current situation. Choosing to sell my mother’s home was and continues to be, heart wrenching. In my 54 years of life, it is the closest I have ever felt with my mother. Even tho, the day she signed the papers to put me on the title she said to me “you can sell it and have the money…” The Hitler like energy that comes from this place, is making the sale easier, which will free it from my heartstrings faster, allowing the sale to be sooner rather than later. For that, I am grateful!!
So, all that said lol, don’t think you have to suck something up and like it, just stay proactive in the change… bob and weave. We are doing a freakin square dance into our new lives!! lol
By the way, my dentist is going to give me a refund of everything I had paid him already, minus the $595 for the temporary dentures he already had made. But he is going to give me the dentures too. When the house sells or I win the lottery (smile) I will get my teeth done then. I am having a serious conversation with my teeth to please do not completely deteriorate and break off before then. Ahhhhh the dance!! lol
I love you all, thank you for being YOU and such a treasure upon my life’s field, as well as Valorie’s. Thank you as well, for the gofundme donations that allowed me to get the first phase done, even if its on hold for now. The love will help power up the rest thru the sale. You are truly my magnetic force of life in the field of love and thank you!!
Big big big (((HUGZ)))) of square dancing and dosey doe’s into the next adventure, together!!
Lisa Gawlas www.mysoulcenter.com/bookreading.html