Posted by: Lisa Gawlas | October 13, 2016

Getting There….


getting-there

Slowly but surely, I am making a path back into my life.  But let me tell ya, the energy in this community I am now calling home (absolutely small h there) is like shoveling cement.  Thick, heavy and ohh so dense.  I woke up two days ago with my whole awakened focus paying attention to the energy hanging in the air (not on purpose, it’s just the way I woke up) and it was so still and heavy, oppressive really.  Instantly I knew why I had to get my office when I did.  Like so many things in life, even our spiritual path is really 20/20 in hindsight and I became grateful I have that place to work from, because working the way we do, from here, impossible.  And then came the pesky words I so did not want to hear from our beloved Kryon:  Lighthouses are not built in safe places, but where they are needed the most.  SHUT UP!!  That is not what I want to hear, thank you very much!!

I cannot help but recall the words that jumped out of my damn mouth the first day my mother told me she wanted to put me on the title.  She explained that when she passed, I could sell it and get all the money back that was invested in her well-being.  I told her, that was not my money, but a world-wide community effort in love and I don’t want that money back, but I will stay and live here.  I shocked myself with the last 6 words.  I don’t like this place at all, energetically speaking.  lol

The last couple days, between continuing to clear out my mother stuff and focusing back on my life, putting in change of addresses, ordering new checks and return labels for envelopes, OMG my heart is just shattering.  I officially know what a plant feels like when it goes into shock by being transplanted.  Only, I wasn’t transplanted into a healthier environment, instead, I was taken out of fertile soil and put into decrepit sandy soil.  Thank god I come packing my own inner nutrients!! lol  33 christed pounds of extra nutrients!! lol Diet time again!!!

I met with two of the board members yesterday, thank you Florida law for protecting my ass!!  Much to this communities dismay, they cannot kick me out.  Florida law states that of someone in a caretaker role inherits a home in a 55 and above community, they by law, established residence and have full rights to remain.  The attorney who did the paperwork for my mother told us that clearly and I know she equally made sure the main man who runs this place knew it too.  So I got an ear full of their rules… I can have no traces of weeds near my home.  Because my mother was sick for a long time (seems they knew that) she got free pass.  No motorcycles allowed in this community at all and there are only a handful of homes designated as dog friendly, mine is not and I am not even allowed to have a visitor with a dog.  The one lady explained to me, that she had a friend come with a dog and the dog stood in the car.  So the dog can stay in a hot car outside the house, but not in a cool house.  Alrighty then!!

I can so see why my mother loves this place, suddenly so much is making sense to me.  The superficial beauty is the only thing that is cared about here.  My mother was exactly like that too, see my outer perfection, but don’t come peeking too deep…

I mention twice in this little meeting about getting a wellness committee together, explaining twice how I found my mother and her home.  I was ignored both times and the subject instantly changed.  That’s ok… I have nothing but time on my side now.  Especially since they have this odd rule that you must own your home for 2 years before you can rent it out.  Weird.

There are some perks to living here, I am only about an hour away from Disney and with two grandsons who will LOVE doing Disney and universal, well that alone is a good reason to have this place.  I own the land and mobile home free and clear so I only have to pay monthly maintenance fees that include basic cable, water, sewer, trash and lawn care.  That’s kewl, I can’t rent a place with all that for the $210 a month it costs.

Yesterday and this morning I am reminded of a quote from Neale Donald Walsch I put on my facebook a few days ago:  “It is okay to be at a place of struggle. Struggle is just another word for growth. Even the most evolved beings find themselves in a place of struggle now and then. In fact, struggle is a sure sign to them that they are expanding; it is their indication of real and important progress. The only one who doesn’t struggle is the one who doesn’t grow. So if you are struggling right now, see it as a terrific sign — celebrate your struggle.”
― Neale Donald Walsch

I am struggling to find my footing, my place in this new landscape.  I am both grieving and going thru transplant shock at the same time.  I am in gratitude and awe of all that has transpired, not to mention the enormous world-wide support, love fest that allowed these 3+ months to transpire with dedicated focus to my mother.  I live each day now, overflowing with tons of emotions I have not felt in a very very long time, some, not at all.

I woke up this morning KNOWING that even tho this is the a place I would have never chosen for myself to live, it is exactly where I must be Now.  I have said this a million times thru so many readings over the years “you don’t have to like where you are, but you should honor it and delve deeper into why you are there.”  I’m delving!!  Selling this place is not an option, never has been.  Equally tho, as I am seeing right now… the last 5 years in the Jemez was intensely important.  I grew unencumbered with the highest of energies and the love of the Guardians of Shambhala.  I attracted you to me and me to you.  Thru our connections and communications we created a brand new collective that is alive and flourishing on this amazing earth.  And now… the true work begins… (whatever that may be.)

I do want to mention something odd, bizarre (to me) even.  Since my mother’s passing on the 3rd, every single day between 4-5 pm, my body becomes drained of energy.  Like someone pulls a plug and empties me out every day at that time.  I could barely stay awake.  Maybe it’s my team flushing the toilet each day lol.  I don’t know, but it has been consistent.

At least this morning tho, I woke up with the Light of excitement shining thru.  It’s been awhile since I woke up feeling this way.  It’s a good thing too, we start reading again on the 15th… I am so excited and so freakin nervous all at the same time!!  I think we are rounding the time to have a house lighting party too.  I am amazed at how many of you live close by… Maybe November we can conspire towards that!!

Well, on that note, I found a metaphysical store near by that opens at 10am.  I am going to go stand in the midst of some crystals and re-energize myself.  Sadly I left so many of my crystals (and all my shoes, pots and pans and other things I wanted to bring with me) in the Jemez.

I love you all so much.  Again, I thank you for taking such good care of my soul and my mother’s soul (and our bodies too lol) thru this life changing time.  We would have never done so well, so beautifully and gracefully all that needed to be done, without each and every one of you.

See you in the field soon!!  (((((HUGZ))))) of wonder and bliss to and thru ALL!!

Lisa Gawlas    www.mysoulcenter.com/bookreading.html

P.S.  My daughter Valorie’s beloved cat Fenix passed away yesterday.  Please send my daughter loving comfort, this is going to break her heart and she is stuck in jail to deal with the emotions.  Fenix has been a part of our lives since 2004, born in Idaho, moving to Iowa and then finally Virginia with us.

 

 

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Responses

  1. Bless you Lisa. Thanks for the message regarding struggle. Very helpful.

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  2. Hi Lisa,

    So sorry for the loss of Felix! Can you have a cat at your place since you can’t have a dog? I’ve always felt that a cat makes a house a home! Anyway thanks for sharing your journey, sounds like you’re coming out the other side of all this better than ever. I have a feeling once you start spending a lot more time near the ocean in your new office space, everything will start feeling more normal for you. Hope you guys can all get together next month, that would be great for you!

    Meanwhile, up here in NY we are gearing for the cold again and I’m obviously going to be bringing in a stray cat that looks like Sylvester from the Looney Tunes before the snow flies – looks like he’s already decided on my house as he never leaves the yard anymore and now I’m feeding him (I think he’s the brother of my cat who showed up as a kitten by my pond a year ago – they seem to like what they see of each other through the screen door – so cute!) So good luck to you and me both this fall! 🙂

    Katy

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  3. Reblogged this on unity2013.

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  4. Thanks for sharing. As I first started to read this I thought that you are a light shining in the community, a light house in that community. Their to break up the darkness, rules and such.
    I also have moved and left a lot behind, now using my parents things, so keep what you need of your mom’s. Change things to fit your life.
    Thought of also as you mentioned the cat passing that Felix will help Valorie where she is at. She will have Felix the spirit kitty in jail with her. She needs to be open to this.
    Keep going, following your heart. Do not push things as your go through things and the grieving process. It takes time, I had my parents leave about 4 months apart.

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  5. I live in the Jemez. Is there anything I can send you from here? I wish I had known about your having to leave crystals, etc. I could have (maybe still can) send them to you???? Patty

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  6. Hi Lisa, I find it very interesting that you ended up in Florida as well, coming from Jemez. Reenergizing at the crystal store is a great idea! This Jemez sistah is coming your way in February to visit my sister nearby, I hope to visit Tarpon Springs while there. It’s a long, strange trip we’re on…
    Xoxo, Louise

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    • OMG Louise, you best figure out a way to schedule my happy ass into your visit. I would so love to spend time with you and even maybe squeeze a bit of the Jemez out of you while here!! Hell if you cannot make it here, I will come to you… either way, I would love love love to see you in February, or any time for that matter!! I miss you!! ❤

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  7. Lisa…I imagine it must be a bittersweet grieving process with the separation that you and your mom experienced thru the years. We all imagine that a mother-daughter relationship should be all love and roses but it can be one of the most challenging relationships a woman experiences. I recall you writing about your challenges growing up in a dysfunctional family dynamic. We all have these challenges in one way or another albeit some more challenging than others.

    You’ve shared how you’ve healed thru the years as you came thru your spiritual awakening… And oh my how you’ve risen through it all. You are a shining example of how to come thru the “poor me” phase… Out the other side. So I cannot imagine what more you must have to work thru, but I’m sure whatever it is, in the end, on the other side, just as you’ve already shared, you will know exactly why it all had to happen the way it did. We love you and commend you for helping us figure out the whys and wherefores of the journeys we go thru as well. And congrats on your new home. HUGS….

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  8. Thanks so much for sharing, Lisa….a lot of teaching /learning for me in there…You are indeed a shining Light where you are, shall your new clients be coming into your home? I would beware sharing what you do with the inmates! Otherwise they will be telling you you are running a business & that it’s not on!! That’s is just what I got, so be forewarned…..it’s just that they don’t like change, and don’t have enough to do, daily. Been there done that.
    Sending you much Love & Blessings, Lisa….at least you are moving forward….
    Sylvia (Liney) from Fb…

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    • My clients never come to me, we use the phone or skype to connect. But I do have a separate office that I use for work. I got it before I realized how sick my mother was with the intention of working while she was still alive. ❤ Love you so much!! ❤

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      • Well, that worked out really well, didn’t it? Like these things usually do…You are back with a renewed energy…Loved the new blog…Love you too, dear…
        Peace and Love
        Sylvia x

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  9. Good blog post. I absolutely love this site. Stick with it!

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