I hear myself say to say many people I am reading for, “there are going to be many twists and turns in the coming months, life changing choices that are there for you to make, which will alter your path,” not once did I think… me too!! Joining a dance class was about as life changing as my gets.
However, a series of events recently unfolded, and I do want to tell you the long version, for a reason that will be obvious as I unfold it all, it is changing everything.
As you may remember, this past mother’s day my oldest daughter came back into my life, the catalyst being my newest grandson, her son Rune who is currently 5 months old. Michelle (my daughter) is currently on a several month US tour to introduce her little bundle of love to those she knows, one stop unexpected included me. While she was here, she decided to she wanted to include my mother in her tour. Keep in mind, I have not talked to my mother in 20 years, Michelle had not talked to her in 24 years (my mother is great at alienating everyone.)
She decided she was not going to include my mother in her tour simply because from her nearest connection, Mississippi, it was an additional 15 hour drive (one way.) Well, life had other plans. The paternal uncle she was staying with in Mississippi, well let’s just say the visit didn’t go well and Michelle decided not to stay the entire length of time she had slotted for that place, and decided screw it, she was going to head to my mother’s house instead. My daughter has got balls of steel let me tell you!! We all waited on pins and needles to see if my mother would welcome her in or shut the door on her face, it really could have gone either way. This happened on Monday the 13th.
About an hour after her arrival at my mother’s house, I got a photo text from her:
For a minute there when I opened, I thought she did something to alter an image of me. I forgot just how much I look like my mother. The love that I had no choice but to look away inside my heart for my mother, came spilling out in waves of liquid warm energy and tears.
She sent me another text that said my mother had literally just came home from the hospital on Friday the 10th after being there for 20 days due to a stroke.
They spent a few hours together and when Michelle tried to leave, her car wanted no part of leaving yet, it was acting up. She ended up staying over night at my mother’s til she could see a mechanic in the morning. The ball bearings in her tire disintegrated, which really seemed so fitting for the moment.
She was finally able to call me and have a lengthy conversation about how her reunion went and our hearts broke into pieces. The first thing she told me about was my mother’s failing memory, a lot of it has to do with the stroke itself, but Michelle has a feeling there is some onset Alzheimer’s going on too. She kept referring to Michelle as her niece instead of her granddaughter. She barely had any memory recognition of her youngest granddaughter Valorie and what she remembered about me was far from loving. She told Michelle that she does not want me back in her life at all. Michelle actually sent me that in a text when I texted her to ask if she showed my mother pictures of me or Chris. I was completely ok with that, she let Michelle and that is more than either of us expected.
That is, until Michelle really started to tell me the conditions of her life. My mother has always been a huge perfectionist and a neat freak on steroids. Michelle said there was human fecal matter all thru out her home, her bathroom was filthy and the toilet seat caked with fecal matter. She had skid marks on the back of the jumper she was wearing and it was obvious she had not changed her clothes, probably since she came home from the hospital. Worse than that tho, was the fact my mother has no one in her life. Not a friend, the only relative that even talks to her is her youngest sister who lives in PA. Now she does have a sister who lives 2 streets over, but they have not talked in years. This family is soooo incredibly good at building walls and never coming out from behind them.
My mother even told Michelle that she is the first visitor she has had in a very long time. She does have a next door neighbor that takes her grocery shopping once a week, but that is the extent of their friendship.
My mother told Michelle all that happened on the day of her stroke. She was walking from one room to another when the stroke hit, she fell down and hit a metal table that fell on top of her, bruising her arm from shoulder to elbow. Her entire side was paralyzed and she couldn’t get the table off of her, she found the will inside her to scoot across the floor to the phone to dial 911.
She could have died and no one would have known. No one comes to check on her, sit with her, help her, Love her.
She also told Michelle that right around the time of her stroke, her AC unit died. Keeping in mind she lives in florida (the gulf side) in a double wide mobile home, can we just say a hot box. My mother has no money, she worked for cash under the table most of her life, so her social security has got to be small.
She does realize the direness of her life conditions and told Michelle that what she wants to do is get her AC fixed, sell her home and move back to PA where the only sister that talks to her, lives. She is utterly alone in Florida.
Now, lets just put all that on hold and let me back up to the start of my morning yesterday, which thankfully, was a day off for me. I am really liking days off. Something was very different when i woke up in the morning. The energy field of life felt… sooooo different than it has the last several days waking up. I think the only way I have of explaining it is like when you have worn super tight fitting jeans for days and you finally take them off. There was a looseness, a sense of expanded freedom that was really nice. I wasn’t a 100% sure if it was because of the reunion with my mother and daughter, the energies itself or what. I decided to take a meditation before even writing a blog. I found it oddly hard to focus in meditation, like I couldn’t figure out where the channel was any longer that I tune into. Finally, I got a small glimpse of the field, of that honey colored energy system everyone had around them in the field for days now. It was dissolving and dispersing itself into the field of life. This was what I was feeling. My team gave me no more information, no insight except to encourage me to get out of the house today, go on a hike or something. OK. Another day off and house cleaning does not get done!!
My intention was to go hike up Boca Negra Canyon in Petroglyph national park, in Albuquerque and absorb some more of my audio book. It is one of my most favorite vortex places besides my back yard. It was just after getting out of the bathtub and declaring to go to the canyon that Michelle called me and told me all the above details. My heart sank to a place unfamiliar within me. I so hurt for this lady who created a life of deep aloneness for herself.
I tried to listen to my audiobook on my adventure to the canyon, I couldn’t take a word in, all I could think about was my mother. My initial plan started changing… I had told Michelle, who also gave me my aunts email address (the one that talks to my mother) I would contact her as well as someone from the office to first find out about getting her AC fixed, getting estimates and if I have to, get a gofundme project started to get that done. Michelle mention like $3000 to fix it, which could be my mother over exaggerating the price.
I had already been thinking about the series of events that brought this all together. Keeping in mind, Michelle’s father died many years ago and he was not a nice man and played a huge role in my mother not talking to michelle for decades. My father, obviously in spirit too and I kept feeling he has his spirit hand in all this, having had a reunion with him myself after 38 years of estrangement.
I told Michelle, no doubt your father made sure the anger her uncle felt was brought on by her father himself, so she would be pushed out of the house and opened the door to go to my mothers. My father still loved my mother, that was very apparent when we talked about her while I was with him. They can both see her dire living conditions from their side of the veil and she needs help. A lot of help, a lot of love and compassion.
So as I am cruising down the road, thinking and feeling with my mother and everything inside of started shift, redirect its focus. Even if we got her AC fixed, she is not in a mental state to really get her home sold. She has zero transportation and even that, it’s a lengthy process. I couldn’t believe where my desires were steering me… I am going to freakin Florida!! Well just shit!! So in my planning stage on my drive… at first I thought, I’ll fly and rent a car. Somehow it all got switched to, no you will drive your car, get everything in motion to sell my mom’s trailer and bring her and her cat back to NM with me. WHAT??? This is going to take the miracles of miracles to get done.
I started to look at the landscape around me, where the fuck was I? I have never seen this area of New Mexico before, there was nothing around, nothing at all but desert. Not even much desert trees… just desert dirt. Shit, I missed my turn off. Oh well, back to my thoughts around my mother. I thought about the many ET sessions over the last two weeks, we can change the timelines, the energies from one plane of existence to another. My next thought was… I need to find a timeline or existence where my mother is happy to have me in her life. Let me be clear, that was all I did. As I was having this thought, I could see literal lines in the sky, in the air shift and change and merge. This is when I became very aware of the landscape around me.
There is a common set up in the ET connections for their humans (smile) entering meditation. Be in an open field, no trees, no bushes, no anything. Just the open earth and the open sky. The reason being, the trees and stuff changes the energy matrix of the landscapes and they want their person to be as clear and unobstructed as possible in connecting to the things being revealed (portals, stargates, dimensions and so on.) In that moment I realized this was as important in life as it was in meditation. I had to miss my exit to the canyon in order to be in this exact place having this exact thought desire and moving the planes of existence to one that suits the needs/energies about to unfold.
So I get myself turned around and start heading back towards Albuquerque, feeling everything is now in place with my mother. I am going to leave out on July 10th (gotta save some money up, even the little bit I have set aside for mexico is nowhere near enough for gas even.) I am not leaving florida without my mother. I am anticipating… two weeks, I hope. Or less!!
I decided, enough about that, I am committed, I will get this done. I want to listen to my audiobook now. I turned it on, and it wouldn’t play. I wiggled the cord connecting it to my car speakers and it started skipping like an old record skips when it has a scratch in it. What the hell?? Digital media does not skip, which instantly brought my memory back to the Ouija board session I had November 11th, 2000. The very session that changed the course of my life, forever. I recorded the Ouija board session on a digital recorder and every time “jill” the chick who came thru the board (later to find out she was my spirit guide) the recording twanged and skipped.
I turned off the audiobook, obviously spirit had some unfinished business with me and my mother. I turned the radio on and without thinking, switched it to a country channel. My mother loves country music. The second song that started playing had me balling my eyes out, literally. “When I get to where I am going” came on just as soon as the song that was already playing ended. My siblings played that song at my father’s funeral. I could feel my father sitting inside my body as that song played, he brought in my mother’s soul in with him. I was crying tears of love and tears of such deep sadness I didn’t know if I was coming or going, but the one thing I was absolutely sure of, my father has a big hand in getting this all together.
When I finally found my way home, I told Michelle of my plan, told my son of my plan, created an email to my aunt so she knows of my plan and can hopefully encourage my mother in this direction for her own well-being. Then I wrote my mother a letter and told her of my plan, which is not debatable. I reminded her of something she told me once when I was 12 years old on mother’s day no less. She actually got me a present for mother’s day, a t-shirt and told me words that rang in my heart and soul all day long yesterday “If I never have anything in life, I will always have you.” I reminded her of this in the letter I mailed out last night.
And I question my teams sanity with all this. I keep asking them, why me?? Their constant reply is… if not you, then who?? Fuck!! I asked Michelle if I can borrow some of her balls, I need them. But then again, she punched a massive hole thru a 20+ year wall, I will sneak in thru the cracks.
So, my life path has changed, drastically. My plan, at least initially, is to get my mother here to my house, then get her set up into an independent living environment in Albuquerque… as I talk her out of going back to PA. She really won’t have the support she needs there and she has it here.
Let me tell ya, I am going to need your loving light helping me every step of the way. I am entering uncharted territory here. It’s one thing to enter someone’s life (like my fathers) that wants you there… I also have to lean into trusting what I seen happen, the change in timelines, planes of realities and with my mother’s current sketchy memory, I am praying by the time I get there, she will forget she still hates me. 😀
Between now and then, if you can aim your lovelight at my mother, for her wellbeing, that would be greatly appreciated. I was up all night worried about her. Thank you so much (in advance.)
It is going to be interesting to see how everyone else’s field of life presents itself today. Holy cow batman!!!
Have an amazing day and may the challenges show up on your doorstep, be the greatest things you are ever asked to do!!
((((HUGZ))))) filled with expansive, life changing, life enhancing love!!
Lisa Gawlas www.mysoulcenter.com/bookreading.html
P.S. Father’s day/Solstice Special: Save 22% on everything I offer. I am using the master builder energy encompassing the light of the father (aka god) now thru June 20th. For single readings or ET connections type in coupon code: Dad. For all packages type in coupon code: Sol