One can become so long in the tooth, sure they had connected every dot of their chaotic trail to Here, no stone left unturned, no hidden mystery left to discover from looking back upon the trail. Yes, I am absolutely referencing myself here, but equally, no matter my experience, I also know, I am never alone within it.
Letting go. How many times did spirit say that over and over and over again thru the last few years (if not many collective lifetimes.?) I know for myself personally, when I think of letting go, I think of the outside world itself. I let go of so many versions of my self, I let go of my kids, my grandson (when I moved to New Mexico) long before this path started, I let go of the chaotic relationship of my mother, released completely one of my daughters. I have let go of living spaces, work evaluations. So once again, I was pretty damn sure when spirit talked to you, whomever was out on the field, of letting go, I too got a free pass. What more could I let go of??
I was pretty sure too, I had taken every element of fear within me to the spiritual gym and used it to strengthen my life of courage. Using courage to walk this path out loud and not just talk about it as a concept that should be applied.
I tapped out of yesterday. I had wonderful conversations with everyone on my agenda, but choose not to read. I couldn’t, I was beyond full and the thought of taking in one more shred of information brought tears to my eyes. My mind had been processing and expanding for 10 solid days and nights, this human, is exhausted!!
I must say, I learned more about myself, discovered more mysteries that I once thought I fully understood than I ever thought possible.
I once again heard my bath calling me. I hesitated, again, I cannot take any more information in, no more rabbit holes to wind thru, I really am tapped. I ran my bath, put my dead sea salts in and per my team from my last meditation, used rose essential oil within the water. As soon as I laid down in my tub, the first thing I had seen were what looked like two golden loops, like a bow, coming up and out of my solar plexus. Then the strangest sentence I have ever heard from my team: Do you know why you are so uncomfortable with algebra? Huh??? What the hell does that have to do with the meaning of life.
I have always made the statement, I am seriously allergic to algebra, it truly brings me to tears (literally) when forced to learn it in school. In high school, 9th grade to be exact, I failed it every quarter, begged my guidance counselor to get me out of algebra and put me in regular math. He refused. When I entered college (twice) to do the core subjects for nursing, I dropped out because I was forced to do algebra. Having to do it, literally made me cry.
Other than really hating it, I could care less as to why. My early beginnings taught me well on how to be the master of avoidance. Even to this moment. Who knew?? lol Equally, who would think math of any sort would have a direct relationship on our path.
Now, before I got into the reveal of this surprise to myself, I also want to say, for me, its algebra. Anyone who has any sort of imbalance with anything, especially what we consider like food allergies, life allergies, (save any sudden changes to the biological chemistry happening thru these energies) has got something they need to realign within themselves and look beyond the surface of what it could mean to you!
My team was quick to tell me, I do not like unknown variables. I scratched my head, shit, my entire seems to always be one unknown variable after another. Of course, I was looking externally.
My childhood took me from one foster family to another, to friends of my mothers, to group homes, I was constantly on the move as a child. Crippling my emotional field, one unknown variable was rarely better than the next equation. Even as I grew into adulthood and relationships, I kept myself embedded in the fixed realm. 1 plus 1 equals two and that allowed me control of it all. I always had control, I needed it for survival.
Let’s fast forward to this crazy moment in our time construct. The other day in meditation my team showed me my heart center. It reminded me of the most beautiful manhole cover one could create, it wasn’t flat, more like an inverted disc. Golden, radiating the energy outwards when I felt safe and to the degree of the known. I can love you with all my soul, you’re very safe. My kids, the same, my home here, same. We collectively know we are taking ourselves to the next level of experience thru the expanding emotional field of each other. 1 plus 1 equals two. We know this.
My team says to me in my crazy bath waters, you are very capable of doing algebra if you let yourself go. (I don’t want to!! lol) The next thing they say, as they show me my very pretty manhole cover on my heart, Michael is like algebra to me since he showed up as an unknown variable in my life, not only is he unknown, he is equally a moving variable. Once again, I see the area of the heart energy and a manhole cover that seems to be having a flood move under it, so it is rocking back and forth from the flow beneath.
Moving around in the outer landscape of life, shit, that’s easy. I have been groomed to do that since I was born. But to open the heart, full throttle BEFORE you arrive, not so much.
I think it was back in 2013 spirit started talking about speed and velocity thru so many of the readings, and like it always does, just stopped and went on to focus on something (appearing to be) totally unrelated. We have been fed, small spoonfuls of information over two years all forming a massive picture to here.
Lets take another look at the word “velocity:” Velocity is a vector quantity that refers to “the rate at which an object changes its position.” Imagine a person moving rapidly – one step forward and one step back – always returning to the original starting position. While this might result in a frenzy of activity, it would result in a zero velocity. Because the person always returns to the original position, the motion would never result in a change in position. Since velocity is defined as the rate at which the position changes, this motion results in zero velocity. If a person in motion wishes to maximize their velocity, then that person must make every effort to maximize the amount that they are displaced from their original position. Every step must go into moving that person further from where he or she started. For certain, the person should never change directions and begin to return to the starting position.
Now couple that with “speed:” Speed is a scalar quantity that refers to “how fast an object is moving.” Speed can be thought of as the rate at which an object covers distance. A fast-moving object has a high speed and covers a relatively large distance in a short amount of time. Contrast this to a slow-moving object that has a low speed; it covers a relatively small amount of distance in the same amount of time. An object with no movement at all has a zero speed.
To take us all to the next level, not only must we be untangled from the chaos of the illusion surrounding us, we must allow the heart center itself to be open to full throttle, with the willingness (and that now is more of a key word than it ever was… WILLINGNESS of the human) to penetrate without foresight, into the depths of the unknown.
Even tho I have amazing soul sight, I cannot see anything when it is in motion. This has become really evident in the readings this last month or so. Dammit!!
Unknown variables, moving variables… dammit. I wanna know first!! Besides that, I didn’t even realize I still had a little discordant distortion within the full energy, the whole quantity of love.
So I get out of my algebra meditation yesterday and head to my next connection for a wonderful conversation with a man in Holland. I so love him and our conversation was lively. He is undergoing the same thing as I am, having met his magnetic, dynamic, divine counterpart this past January. I cannot quite remember what triggered the visual, but we were talking about… something and I wasn’t down yesterday, just plain full and I could see whatever it was we were talking about and I about cried. I covered my eyes and stopped the incoming energy/information and then suddenly realized, it wasn’t the information that had me feeling tapped out, it was the emotional frequency coming in with it.
There are three things that are intertwined within my ability to read: seeing, hearing and at the core of these two, feeling. It was the emotional content of the information that was choking me up. My damn manhole cover needs to go!! It became such a moment of clarity thru him why I have been exhausted emotionally and mentally since we opened into the field of February.
Complete and absolute surrender to the speed and velocity underway… or go no further than this point. Which reminds me, for those not on my facebook… the other day I totally realized (while doing the dishes) that entrance and depths into the fields of Shambhala, the new earth, pick a title is at rates or levels. I am not sure what to call it. You arrive here, then have the choice to take yourself further into the realm of potential and then go further and then further. Each step requires, excuse me, demands you move wayyyy out of your comfort zone and now, I am going to include complete surrender to the unknown (heart flow) you have lived your life to experience and break ground upon.
No more saying… I really want to do or be this, Im just waiting… for… the big reveal, knowing, whatever. lol This takes leaping empty-handed into the void to a very real expression. But doing it with the full force of loving joy streaming with intense velocity from your heart center.
Now to completely change the subject, it is relevant and I will circle back around, I think lol. In one of the many emails Michael sent before his lack of internet, he mentioned something about the movie “Finding Joe.” If I am not mistaken, I think he referenced it a few times, I never heard of it, nor have I ever heard of Joseph Campbell either. After my meditation with the seeing his heart beating in his hand, extending it completely and without invocation to the complete unknown, when I got out of the bath, all I could feel was seeing this movie. The only place I could find it was in DVD form on Amazon, so I ordered.
Yesterday, I get a text message from UPS stating they left my package at the front door. Really? I didn’t see the truck at all. I looked outside, nope. I looked at my landlady’s front door, I looked at the front door of her art studio, nope. I have one UPS guy that doesn’t dare take his truck down our bumpy narrow dirt driveway and leaves our packages up at the entrance to our driveway. I went up the driveway and had to take a picture of his idea of the front door. That picture revealed more than I could have imagined:
What I find funny, that very place would be the front door to ET-ville. I didn’t even notice this picture until last night as I was shooting sunset pictures.
Boy was this movie about to punch an even bigger hole in everything I thought about, well, everything really.
When I sent Michael an email about my meditation on the 11th, I started with information I didn’t even know was relevant. I am going to cheat and just cut and paste what I sent to him:
Lisa Gawlas www.mysoulcenter.com/energy_readings.html
P.S. V-DAY SPECIAL: Save $10 on a thirty minute reading, TWO DAYS LEFT Only $49 from February 10th thru February 15th. Click Here to purchase and schedule.