Posted by: Lisa Gawlas | October 27, 2010

Negativity eats the Life out of the Air!

Sometimes we can sit in the middle of our life wondering…. why do I need to learn this lesson again.  The beauty of even asking the subtle sort of questions, the answer becomes quite clear…. eventually.  But not only the answer, when you are really paying attention, the effects of whatever it is you are in the midst of learning, become super-sized in your field of awareness.

My journey and understandings is all about the energy of negativity.

Of course any and all negativity is fear in motion.  I understood this energy before I left Virginia, or so I thought.  The house I lived in was filled to the rooftop with that dark heavy energy called negativity.  The business that was launched was consumed and eventually closed because of negativity… I couldn’t breath any longer and moved not just out of the house… but across the country.

Something magical happened the very second my car drove out of the driveway heading towards New Mexico, I could breath again.  The joy molecules were dancing playfully off of every ounce of my skin.  I realize now I became so full on joy, that eating food was secondary.  I didn’t even need my best friend chocolate any longer.  I brought it with me… and eventually threw most of it away simply because it kept melting.

I was shedding weight like crazy.  I didn’t realize until now how important my own fat cells are at protecting my light body.  From Dec. to June I had gained 11 pounds.  When I asked spirit why, it is not like I changed anything in my eating or not exercising habits, spirit simply replied to protect your light body.  Good enough for me!

I spent from the end of June to the beginning of October in absolute bliss.  My travels were amazing.  My reconnection with my oldest daughter lifted my spirit so high I had a hard time regrounding.  Then I moved in with my editor and her husband and son (and 6 dogs, 2 cats, 2 rabbits and a turtle) and the support we shared with each other… the encouragement, the joy, the desire to be near and appreciate each other… lifted me even higher.

It was as if nothing could go wrong (at least our human perception of wrong).  I immediately got the most perfect office to work out of, with the most perfect people and from the get go, my business thrived. 

There was such a shared energy between all of us, Dana (my editor), her husband, my new friends a homeopathic Dr and his incredible Acupuncture wife Lynnett.  We were sharing and breathing energy into each other that people were pouring in to see us, to be on my table.  We were literally lifting each other up with our love and excitement to be sharing each others lives and understandings together. 

And then it started to change.  I had to move into a new place, which was ok with me.  My business 2 months in a row was thriving, I could afford to move.  Little did I realize I would be moving into the greatest lesson of my journey yet.

I choose to rent a room in a house.  I met the owner of the house and his roommate was sleeping when I came to check it all out.  I liked him, I liked the fact that the room I was going to rent was painted yellow.  It seems that has been a constant validation for me since I moved to Albuquerque.  My editors car is yellow, my office walls are yellow so now… this is perfect.  I made the arrangements to move in.

I soon came to realize, there is no spiritual food in this house.  The guy I met left for 5 weeks of training for a new job, leaving me to get to know the roommate that was sleeping the day I decided to move in.

There is not an ounce of hope, of joy of anything positive that comes from her lips.  I know she is in deep pain within her heart, but in her effort to hide from that, besides pills and vodka, she attacks everything around her.  The stories are awful, my heart hurts every time I listen to her…

I found myself retreating to my room more and more. 

The light wave we received with October, amplified my own receptors within myself.  It is like someone took and amplified every energy molecule in creation… and I couldn’t breath any longer. 

I want to just nuzzle up next to the people who are excited to be in life, to be on a road of discovery within themselves…. but even they became drowned out by the people who are in so much pain inside themselves, they feel the need to suck the life out of the air we all breathe. 

My business fell apart.  I was seeing 7-10 clients a week… October I am lucky if I have had that many in a month.  What the hell happened? 

I knew I was suffocating inside my own skin… I could feel it.  I have watched more full length movies in the month of October than I have had in the last 2 years.  I was retreating from life….again, to protect myself.  My chocolate consumption increased… my stomach, that only the month before could barely fit a plate of food at once, expanded to let me munch all day long.  Here comes that damn protection again…

I called on the energy of the full moon and begged to be illuminated where I am in the dark.  I was told to go on a retreat to my friend Jills property in CO.  Jill gave me permission to do so. 

I was on the fence of should I or shouldnt I…. If you looked at my bank account, this trip was not part of my finances… but yet, I was going to implode if I didn’t do something positive.

I woke up sunday morning and as if the moon called out to me to look… (it was behind me) and there was the most awesome double rainbow encircling it.  I left for Colorado a few hours later.  Screw the bills I need to breathe!

It really is the greatest gift I could have given to myself.  As I drove further away from home, I felt life return back to my body, to my mind.  The scenery in this part of the world is simply magnificent. 

As I drove further away… I could hear one of my audio books thumping against the car door (which is where I have 4 audio books in that little compartment on the door) and I had seen one rocking back and forth as if to get my attention.  It was “How to live and Inspiring Life” by Wayne Dyer.  Now I listened to every one of them many times as I journeyed from Virginia to New Mexico, but I figured it was trying to tell me something…. and I am open to listening.

This particular audio book is like 5 or 6 CDs… the case itself is falling part, so I just cracked it open and took the CD that it opened to out (which was number 3) and popped into the car stereo and he started talking about living in spirit.  About being so aligned with your own spirit it is hard to be in a space that is the opposite of that.  I thought to myself… that is my freakin problem!  That has always been my problem…. but the bigger question is… what the hell to do about it.

In my movie marathons that I had been watching in October, I watched The Celestine Prophecy over and over again.  Which has added to my insperation on my journey to Colorado.  Inspiration = In Spirit (according to Wayne Dyer anywayz).

I had the most amazing time reflecting on those who added positive energy to my life, and those who withdrew any positive molecules from the air itself.  I could see the way it all really works in our world of matter. 

You can be the most positive, loving creature on earth, put yourself in a constant field of negative energy…. the negative energy is like Ms. Pacman, it consumes the joy right out of the air… and affects everything around it. 

On the other hand, get people together who love and share the world of inspiration and joy… together they create the world of miracles.  I have seen this just working with Lynnett.  OMG when her and I work together, God himself is present in our endeavours.  When I am home listening to loveless stories, God parks himself in the neighbors yard and says, let me know when I can return. 

I have found October to be the most amazing, enlightening month of all my life… in the most real and tangible way.

Now the journey will become…. what to do to create the Love filled environment that all can thrive within.

There are 5 acres (and many many more available to purchase) in San Luis, Colorado… anyone up for building a Love filled place to live, breathe and grow??

To be continued…..

Lisa – In – Spirit


  1. Hi Lisa! I know this lesson too. I think it’s a challenge for me personally to see the old ways in my life, how things were…and still feel an open heart for those people I have here now. To not close myself down in sorrow remembering the sad times. Because the sad times are behind me! I also think it’s a challenge to know when you’ll be in a place where love isn’t, and decide not to go there. Gosh…this new Earth thing is a complicated process but just for the time being!

    Did you tell Jesse you would buy my sister’s land next to mine? He is looking for a buyer 🙂 I know plenty of people here who would be interested in building that place. 🙂 xo Jill


    • Hey Jill,

      The one thing I am learning… quickly, staying in negative energy is a choice, not a healthy one, but a choice none the less. We cannot ever build the new earth in fullness and still be within the space of negative energy…. for right now, it is way too hungy a critter.

      However, we move ourselves into the vibration of love and firmly cement our being within it…. and spread our love outwards with joy… that is different… and must be done in groups, one or two is not strong enough by themselves. You take 10 people all amplified in the field of love…. holy cow batman. Couple that with the energy I am learning (and the book I am currently writing) about Shambhala…. there is something happening….

      I have not talked to Jesse yet… but, I had seen quite a few signs around your property that says 5+ acres for sale by owner, $70 a month no credit check… like I said, my wheels are turning…

      I love ya Jill and am so so greatful for your friendship and love upon my lifes path!


  2. Hi Lisa,

    Your story resonates with me as well. For myself at least I have a lot of “shoulds and have-to” baggage that keeps me within a great deal of circular negative energy. I feel that my resonsibilities keep me here. The constant battle within of breaking free and then forcing those feelings back down so to stay on the path of have-tos and need-tos. I congratulate you so much on continuing to put yourself first. It is true that you can do a very limited amount for others when you are sooo bogged down with negativity coming from every angle to infiltrate and infect oneself. It’s funny we (my husband and I) also share the dream of moving to Colorado and shedding ourselves. CO really is the crossroads and tends to draw a lot of lightworkers in. I truly hope that you get to make that a reality for yourself. With brightest blessings and warmest regards. ~AIM~


    • Hi Amy,

      Thank you for sharing your story with us. Living a life that is full of your own Light surely is not easy. We have been programmed and conditioned to live our lives for others since we were born pretty much. But at the end of the day, your life is all about you and your personal choices (a new blog I am currently writing about actually.) Our choices either strengthen who we are/choose to be, or degrade it.

      The one thing that the month of October (and its lessons, ending with a 31 year old man dying because of a prescription pill over dose and not liking how his continual {same} choices moved all he wanted further and further away from him, until he just gave up and went back Home) has taught me, always live your own truth and help others along the way with it. At the end of the day, you are at peace, pure, loving peace.

      I am on a deeper mission to create the place in CO than I ever have been. I hope to see you and your husband there as it gets underway!!!

      Lots of love and joy to you wrapped in ((((HUGZ))))


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